


Wonderwall

by Underunderthunder



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Basically a bad teenage cover band, Drummer Flea Wannabe Rich, F/F, F/M, Guitar Hero Jake, Insecurity, M/M, Piano woman Jenna, Pining, Rock Star Michael Mell, Sad Excuse to Listen to 90's music, Self-Doubt, Teenage Dorks, Trust me there will be lots of that, boyf riends - Freeform, but they do it well
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-26
Updated: 2017-12-01
Packaged: 2019-02-07 04:02:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12832866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Underunderthunder/pseuds/Underunderthunder
Summary: aka that one time Michael accidentally started a cover band and Jeremy accidentally started to catch feelings.





	1. Drive

Michael knew things had changed. Take that back, everyone knew things had changed. The whole damn school knew that things had changed. For starters, he had...friends? Like, friends who weren’t online figures with no physical faces. Friends beyond Jeremy, who had been his only companion for so long.

The social hierarchy didn’t really change, just expanded and evolved. Now he knew walking into high school that he could talk to Rich, who now proudly displayed his new ‘Bi Pride’ hoodie, but also catch up on all the gossip with Jenna. Chole and Brooke, when they weren't breaking up and getting back together, would give him advice on his wardrobe. Hell, he knew that between 3rd and 4th period Jake was cool with him sneaking out behind to the bleachers to take a quick hit with him. 

He also knew Jeremy’s schedule had become less open. 

Every Wednesday was now ‘Take Christine to Acting Lessons’ and Thursday’s lunch was ‘Go to Pizza City with Christine’ and Friday night was ‘Date Night with Christine’ and Saturday night was ‘Movie Night with Christine.’

It was all good, though, because Jeremy and Michael kept their Sunday afternoon free and clear for quality video game time (even if it meant Christine would be there...on a beanbag between them...constantly giving unsolicited advice on the game…) 

Michael was happy for Jeremy, truly happy in the saddest way possible. Jeremy got what he wanted for so long, Christine as his devoted girlfriend. She was madly ‘in like’ with Jeremy and made sure the world knew. She loudly announced how cute his laugh was (even though Michael had been telling him since they first met) and would play with his hair when she was bored (which Michael had been telling him that he would be happy to style his hair for years.) Jeremy had won her all by himself with no help from the Squip, just in his geeky, awkward, hilarious, perfect, beautiful Jeremy way. 

Did he just think that?

Anyway, Michael was fully aware of the change around him, which meant he had to follow suit. It was a hard transition, going from being dependent on one person to being social with his peers, but it eventually happened. There were some hurdles to jump over, some self loathing and doubt, but it was all smooth sailing after awhile. Winter came and went, and soon the chill in the air became rainy and warm. 

It was right before spring break that Michael accidentally started a band. He had been heading out to the smoke spot by the bleachers with his 90s mix blaring from his headphones. As he was taking them off, they managed to disconnect from his phone and Incubus’ ‘Drive’ came pouring out.

“Sweet, dude!” Jake laughed. “I was just playing this on the guitar last night.’

Michael returned the offered high five and took the joint. “I didn’t know you could play.”

Jake explained it was one of the many talents he had picked up among his many ambitious ventures. He just happened to really like playing and stuck with it. As they headed back to class (which was much easier to do now that he was off of crutches) they started to talk about more of their favorite hits when they heard a loud ‘Ohmygod!’ from behind them.

“Are you talking about No Doubt?” Jenna asked. “‘Don’t Speak’ was the song I played on the piano when I got third place in the talent show Freshman year!’

Michael only slightly recalled the events of that show, as most of it was spent on the top bleacher mimicking Dustin Kropp, who had epically failed at 'Heart Shaped Box', sounding more whiny than Kurt Corbain ever could. He did recall how Jeremy laughed so hard that soda shot out of his nose and how brightly his cheeks blushed. 

“I didn’t know you could play the piano!” Brooke remarked, who was taking her books out of her decorated locker. 

Jenna had cocked her eyebrow. “Brooke, I played at your 13th birthday party.”

Michael held back a snicker and remarked that they almost had the makings of band. All they needed was a drummer. He was going to leave it at that, and headed off to English Literature. By the end of class, his head was stuffed with the social problems that Lord of the Flies entailed and he really just needed some lunch.

The lunch room was packed, and with no sign of Jeremy, so he headed outside. It was actually sunny for the first time all week, which meant taking a quick stroll over to the 7-Eleven wouldn’t be horrible. 

He hadn’t even made it out the doors when he heard his name being called from out of the band room. It should have been empty right now, but he found a trio that had to be up to no good. Jenna and Jake were waiting just inside the door, watching Rich. Well, more like being freaking amazed by Rich. 

Turns out, Rich was a star with it came to percussion. Michael joined the two to marvel at the rhythm and strength Rich brought to something as simple as a drum set. When his set was over, he looked up at his audience with a toothy grin.

“So?” He said, slightly out of breath. “Was it good?”

“Rich, that was amazing!” Michael laughed, running a hand through his hair. “Like, dude! When did you learn that?!”

Rich shrugged. “I needed a healthier way to deal with my feelings and shit. Turns out, I like hitting things!”

Rich set his drumsticks down and joined them at the front of the room. Michael found it amazing how he never considered any of these individuals to possess those skills yet it all made perfect sense. A swelling of happiness started in his chest, making him feel like he was really connecting with these people. Before, it felt like they were talking to him because they had to, but now they were sharing with him because they wanted to. 

“So are we doing this?” Rich demanded with a slight jump to his step.

“Doing what?” Michael asked.

Jenna threw her arm around Michael and gave him a slight squeeze. “Starting a band, of course! You said it yourself!”

Hold the phone.

“Wait a minute, I did not say that,” Michael reminded them, holding up a finger. “I just said we would have the makings of a band.”

“Right, so we have a band,” Jake nodded in agreement. 

“Its going to be so fucking sweet!” Jenna said, clapping her hands. “We can play covers until we get our song writing skills together. Jake, you will look so cool with your guitar, and we just saw how amazing Rich is! And lets not forget our vocalist, Michael! I can't wait to make us a Facebook page!”

“Hey, slow down now,” Michael felt a soft creeping of panic. “I’m not a singer outside of my shower.”

Jenna looked at him like he had just said he wasn’t human. “Yeah, sure, because you aren’t always singing along to whatever song is pounding through your headphones? You even sound good with them on, which is an achievement. You are our lead singer, Mell.” 

It was too late to turn back. Rich was bobbing up and down with excitement while Jenna continued to plan their entire musical journey. Jake just stood to the side, slightly nodding in agreement. Michael, meanwhile, realized what he had accidentally done. He had put an idea into the heads of three bored go-getters and now had to suffer the consequences. 

“Do you have anything after school, Michael?” Jake asked.

Today was Wednesday, which meant it was “Take Christine to Acting Lessons” for Jeremy, which meant it was “Masterbate Until You Fall Asleep” for him. 

“I can reschedule it,” Michael offered.

“So it's settled,” Jenna declared to the large classroom filled with only four teenagers. “My place after school. I’ve got a detached garage so my folks won’t care. Bring your talent, your instruments, and your drive because we are going towards the top, people! Also, any band name ideas because we aren’t official until then. Cool?”

"Cool!" Rich and Jake said in unison. 

"...cool..." Michael mumbled, feeling uncertain and out of the control of the situation.

What the hell did he get himself into?


	2. Hey Jealousy

**Player 1 (3:46):** Do you and Christine need a ride? 

**Player 1 (3:52):** Believe it or not, I got stuff to do after school so hit me up. I’m still here. 

**(1 missed call from Player 1 at 3:54)**

**(1 voicemail left at 3:55):** Hey Jer! It’s me. Best friend, partner in crime, your favorite person? Just checking in, haven’t seen ya all day. Well...yeah, so I guess call me back. 

**Player 1 (4:05):** Give me a call if you need me. Guess I’ll talk to you tomorrow. 

Jeremy was probably busy. Not a big deal. Maybe Christine’s folks were home and picked Jeremy and Christine up after school, which was rare as her parents were super busy but could happen. So he jumped in his PT Cruiser, turned on the stereo to jam out to REM’s ‘Orange Crush’, and made a quick stop at a drive thru for a smoothie. He had a feeling this was going to be a long night. 

He hoped Jeremy’s phone wasn’t dead and he was waiting on the curb like a lost puppy. Michael sighed and drove back around to the school just to double check. No sign of Jeremy.

“Nothing to freak out about,” Michael said to himself.

It wasn’t strange that Jeremy would go an entire school day without speaking to him lately. If that happened, which it happened more often than not, they would usually check up with each other later that night on Skype. He had slowly learned that Christine was just going to be in the forefront of Jeremy’s mind for awhile. Which was fine. It was all good. 

By the time Michael had arrived at Jenna’s garage, a fight had sparked. 

“Anything but that goddamn song!” Rich was hollering. “I told you I’ve got, like, a dozen song sheets in bag!”

“We can’t call ourselves a 90's cover band if we don’t play it!” Jenna argued back, a fistful of printed notes being flung around with each word she yelled. 

He half considered turning around and pretending like he never showed up, but Jake caught him before he could escape. Being waved over, Michael shuffled his white sneakers over to the lawn chair Jake was chilling on. While the two argued, Jake explained that his folks had been sending him a small allowance from wherever they were located now (Jake didn’t talk to openly about what his folks were up to and Michael didn’t feel it was his place to ask.) Since that ‘small’ allowance left him with thousands of dollars each month, he figured he could swing by a small music shop and pick up some equipment. 

Jenna had moved her keyboard out to the garage and her dad had helped her set up his drum set from his 80's hair band days. With Jake’s electric guitar and his newly purchased mics and amps, they damn near looked like they knew what they were doing. 

Except they didn’t. 

“Ok, ok,” Michael moved to the center of the garage as he called out to the bickering friends. “What song are we freaking out about?”

He pulled the song from Jenna’s fists. ‘Wonderwall’ by Oasis, a classic that was certain to pop up on a set list at a school dance. 

“Yeah, we aren’t doing it,” Rich huffed, his lisp becoming more apparent when he was upset. “Every band does that song. Overdone. Overused. Boring.”

“You agree with me, right?” Jenna turned to Michael. “Isn’t this like essential?”

It was nearly 5, which meant he only had two hours left before the BOGO pho at the little shop downtown stopped being offered. He didn’t have a whole lot of time to argue about this. 

“Jenna is right, Rich, but let's just play something before we decide what to ban,” Michael suggested. “We need to get the basics down first.”

“Yeah, listen to Michael,” Jake piped up. “Let's make sure we can actually jive first.”

Jenna smirked and made her way to the keyboard. Without being prompted, she started to play the opening chords to ‘Bittersweet Symphony.’ The melody was sweet yet grounded and she played without error. She was graceful, and Michael noted how relaxed she looked in her jean jacket and ripped skinny jeans as if she had been doing this her whole life.

Rich must have been feeling left out, because the opening drum rift of ‘Two Princes’ overshadowed the sweet tune that Jenna had been playing. His tone was much more rapid and upbeat. Jake, never being one to be on the sideline, grabbed his guitar and started to playing the chorus to ‘Semi Charmed Life.’ All was good, but not good together.

“Woah!” Michael called, waving his arms. “We’ve got to play the same song at the same time!’

Rich jumped from his drum set and dug into his bag that was held together mostly with safety pins and duct tape. He handed out sheets that he had obviously printed off from the internet, Jenna’s having most of her stuff handwritten in. Jake nodded in agreement while Jenna rolled her eyes, but Michael knew that was mostly due to her pick being shelved for now.

“I actually thought of you when I was getting this ready during Geometry,” Rich said as he handed Michael the notes. “I heard this song in a Kohls last weekend and thought ‘I bet Headphones loves this song.’”

Was Rich blushing or was it just the new shade of vibrant red that he had dyed his hair?

Moving on, Michael looked down at the song and was embarrassed he didn't recognize it right away. Not his usual jam, but he could make it work. Lying, he told Rich he right and tried to remember the tune in his head. 

“Follow my lead,” Jake announced.

Michael sighed and made his way to the microphone. It was daunting, and at first two high. Adjusting it, he let his fingertips run along the stand. Chilled metal, Michael wondered if singers often felt a strange pressure in their gut before they performed. 

Jake must have given Rich a signal, because all of a sudden Rich was drumming and Jake was jumping in. The added keyboard glued everything together and Michael knew it was his turn but it was then he noticed that the garage door was open. The entire world could see him, and if not that, at least the neighbor who was doing something to his lawn, or the kids playing hockey on the street, or maybe someone will drive by with their window open, or maybe…

“Dude, that was you!”

The music cut off, and Michael could see Rich pointing his drum stick his way. All of a sudden he was nervous. He had never really been put on the spot like this before. 

“Are you ok, Michael?” Jenna asked from somewhere behind him. 

He was fine. Totally cool. Just a bit focused on the kids outside getting closer to the driveway. 

“Hold up,” Jake said as he put his guitar back on the stand. He then hit the button to move the garage door down, and in a moment, Michael worries started to melt away. “You good?”

Michael noticed everyone staring at him and nodded. “Yeah, just zoned out for a second. We are good.”

Jake nodded and pointed at Rich, who started the opening to ‘Hey Jealousy’ once again, only this time Michael was ready. He cleared his voice, took in a breath, and sang.

_Tell me if you think it’d be alright/If I could just crashed here tonight/You see I’m in no shape for drivin’/And anyway I’ve got no place to go._

Fuck, you sound weak, he thought to himself. You’ve got this, Michael. Just act like no one else is listening. Like it is just you and...and...just you and Jeremy, driving in the PT Cruiser listening to your playlist. Like the old days.

It hurt to think the old days were only a few months ago. Back when it was just him and Jeremy against the world. He couldn’t say this was worse, but it certainly wasn’t the same. At least back then he knew Jeremy was always available if he needed him. Now he had to take a number and wait his turn. 

But it was all good.

_And you know it might not be that bad/you were the best I’d ever had/If I hadn’t blown the whole things years ago/ I might not be alone._

“Hell yeah!” Rich yelled over the lyrics. “We’ve got this!”

Jenna’s keyboard rendition brought such a new element to the song, and Jake’s direction kept them in check. Rich was the energy they needed. And Michael? Well, Michael kept his voice clear and strong.

_Tomorrow we can drive around this town/And let the cops chase us around/The past is gone but something might be found to take its place/Hey Jealousy..._

They were liking it. Really, truly liking it. His nerves were nonexistence, and the more confident he became, the louder Rich ‘whooped.’ He hit each ‘Hey Jealousy’ like it was a baseball and like he was actually good at sports.

_You can trust me not to think/and not to sleep around/and if you don’t expect too much from me/ you might not be let down/ Cause all I really want’s to be with you/Feeling like I matter too/ If I hadn’t blown this whole thing years ago/I might be here with you._

“Cut!” Jenna yelled and no one was sure that was the correct term but they all stopped. “That was really good but needs work. Lots of work. Rich, don’t break my dad’s drum set. Jake, this isn't a solo right now so don’t act like it and Michael, the crowd has to hear you. It got better towards the middle, but keep it legit throughout. Again?”

Surprisingly, that sounded like a good idea. 

“Yeah, again, from the top!” Michael grinned as he gripped the microphone stand. Only this time, he let the words pour out as if he was under the warm water of his shower, only the acoustics were better in the garage than in his bathroom. 

***

“Wa-wa-wait, so you are being quarantined!” 

“You make it sound so plague-ish, honeybear,” Christine’s voice was still so sweet coming through Jeremy’s phone. “It's just the chickenpox, I never got it as a kid but my younger sister has it now and I’m getting symptoms, which means I’m bound to be a spotted diva. I’ll only be away for a few weeks at max. I’ll miss you so much, Jeremy.”

Jeremy kicked the curb as he walked home. “I’ll miss you too. Call me everyday?”

“Everyday.”

He hung up his phone with a groan. He hadn’t been away from Christine for more than a day since they became Facebook Official. They would normally hang out and Christine would talk for hours about her favorite plays,what she thought about whatever tv show they were watching, what two new fictional characters’ romance that she was shipping...the usual Christine stuff. Jeremy found her charming, adorable, funny…

But…

Something was off…

He didn’t think too closely into it. He just enjoyed the ride and the small kisses she left him when they parted ways. Until they met again, he would just have to stare at his phone’s home screen of the picture of them over winter break on their mini day vacation in New York City. Christine and Jeremy had worn the knitted hats that Brooke had made them as they posed next to a poster for the show they had seen. It had been a good day, and he turned his phone on to remind him of that good feeling. 

Which appeared to also show that he had a few texts and a missed call. He pulled up his voicemail and grinned like a fool when he heard Michael’s voice on the other side. He had been so worried about Christine not showing up to school that he hadn’t spent anytime with his best friend. Hitting redial, he was hoping to see if Michael was free. Instead, he got Michael’s voicemail.

“That is strange,” Jeremy said to himself. “Michael is usually free. I’ll just stop by his place. I know he’s been dying to get to the next level of ‘Zombies, Swords, and Death II.’”

Yet he wasn’t home. Michael’s mother offered him dinner, but Jeremy declined. True, he felt at home with the Mell family, but Michael’s siblings often grew an intense interest in him whenever he was over which made his palms sweaty. So he took the long walk home. By the time he threw himself inside, he was disgustingly drenched and tired. 

“Hello, son!” Jeremy’s father hollered from somewhere in the house. “I’m making Chicken Alfredo and you know you want some!”

His dad had been on a cooking kick lately, which was a nice upgrade from pizza. But after his long walk, his stomach was churning and he felt sick. He thanked his father for the offer, saying he was going to turn in for the night after a quick shower.

Feeling fresh and squeaky clean, he dug under his covers with his phone to check on Michael.

**Player 2 (6:19):** Srry I missed your call. Christine’s sick so no class 2night. Wanna game? 

****

**Player 2 (7:05):** Skype? 

****

**Player 2(7:56):** Dude, where are you?

****

**Player 2 (8:43):** I’m getting worried. U ok?

****

**Player 2 (9:15):** I’m going to bed...message me when you get this. Night dude.

****

**Player 1 (11:56):** Hey Buddy! Had my phone on silent. Been hanging out at Jenna’s. I’m beat tho. Going to bed. Catch ya on the flipside 2mrrw. Night!!! 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Songs mentioned/featured in this chapter are not owned by me in any way. I'm just using them for my own personal happiness**
> 
> Orange Crush: REM  
> Wonderwall: Oasis  
> Bittersweet Symphony: The Verve  
> Two Princes: Spin Doctors  
> Semi Charmed Life: Third Eye Blind  
> Hey Jealousy: Gin Blossoms
> 
> Thank you all for your lovely comments. I'm doing the best research for this fic (not how to be in a band or even how to play music, but really just 90's playlists.) No updating schedule established yet. Thanks friends <3


	3. Everlong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: portrayal of an anxiety attack starting a little after: “Looks like Jake has a surprise for us,”"
> 
> Also, I played piano for about a month somewhere back in middle school and have only been to New Jersey once. Please don't hate me for my lack of knowledge. I'm giving it all my all, friends.

Michael Mell had been in choir in high school for about 25 minutes. Prior to that, he had been a star in his local choir group and always a soloist in every middle school concert. He had managed to drag Jeremy through it too, even though he knew his friend was just mouthing the words to every song.

Choir was where he shined. The teacher always praised him and the students begged him to do duets with him during the Duet Competitions. It was where he was comfortable. It was where Jeremy and him could sit next to each other and tease each other when the sopranos were singing. It was his happy place. Not only that, but he had taken piano lessons from when he was a child, and he could easily jam out all the popular songs during freetime. This also made him extremely well liked among the choir kids.

But something happened over the summer and when he moved into High School, it was no longer easy. Jeremy and Michael had stood near each other as they always had, only to be quickly separated after the first warm-up. 

Feeling alone, he lost complete control over the second warm up. His voice cracked and he couldn’t keep the pitch. Soon the snickering began. His classmates that had once worshiped him were calling him ‘puberty boy’ and the upperclassmen didn’t even bother to look at him. The harder he tried to sing, the worse he sounded. His eyes started to burn and his knees shook. 

It was just as warm ups were ending that he managed to slip out of the classroom without anyone noticing. The choir was big, nearly 100 teenagers spread out among different grades, and no one noticed a small freshman disappearing into the hall. He found the bathroom and locked himself in a stall. Only then could he allow himself to cry, the hot tears stinging as they poured and his sleeve wet from wiping them away. 

“Michael?” The small, high pitched voice of his dearest friend called out to him.

He could see Jeremy’s beat up blue converses standing outside of his stall. “Ye-yeah, dude, I’m, huh...just finishing up.”

“You ok?”

No.

“Heck yeah,” Michael forced a laugh and took a quiet breath.

Jeremy was still outside the stall when he opened it up. Michael knew he was an obvious crier. He couldn’t stop his eyes from being red or his nose from running. He couldn’t blame it on anything else. Jeremy must have thought he was so stupid to be so upset about something as small as choir. 

But Jeremy just smiled a sad grin. “You know what?”

“What?” Michael said, his voice cracking and his heart breaking.

“I don’t think choir is really my thing anymore.” Jeremy twiddled with his backpack straps. “I’m thinking of trying something new. Like...art?”

“Art?” Michael questioned, but quickly caught on to what Jeremy was doing. “Yeah...art. We could totally get away with just drawing video game characters.”

“That is what I was thinking!” Jeremy squeaked.

Wiping his eyes one last time, Michael made a motion to leave the bathroom when Jeremy cleared his throat. “Um..don’t you want to wash your hands?”

“Oh, right,” Michael laughed it off, but made sure to scrub away whatever was left to bother him behind. After that, Jeremy and Michael spent their time creating Mario in whatever medium they were experimenting with that week in art class.  


***

_Say it ain’t so/Your drug is a heartbreaker/Say it ain’t so/My love is a lifetaker…_

Michael Mell desperately tried to find his phone to shut off his alarm without opening up his eyes. Unsuccessful, he eventually pried them open and hissed at gray rainy light streaming into his room. Not like he was that much use without his glasses. Groaning again, he found his glasses before realizing that his phone had been under his pillow the entire time.

**Player 2 (6:45)** Can you pick me up? It's pouring out.

Jeremy lived the opposite way of school, which is why he usually didn’t pick him up, but he hadn’t had time to chat with him in a few days. Of course he would, but it meant his time to get ready was drastically reduced. 

**Player 1 (7:06)** Sure dude, be there soon. 

Jumping out of bed, he quickly threw on some clothes that didn’t smell horrible and raced to the bathroom. He had to kick a few of his sisters out with promises that he would do the dishes tonight. Wetting a comb, he ran it through his hair to try and tame it. 

Jeremy never seemed to have that problem with his hair, but then again Jeremy always woke up in time to take a morning shower. He always smelled so nice, like soap, mouthwash, and fresh laundry. 

“What do I smell like…”Michael casually asked himself before loosely covering his nose and mouth with his hand and exhaling.

Sick. Like gas station egg rolls and slushie, or better known as last night’s dinner. So he brushed his teeth, sprayed some of his little brother’s body spray on his hoodie, and headed out the door without breakfast. 

The rain was coming down hard, and Michael’s attempt at a hairdo was squashed. Luckily, he was able to jump into his orange PT cruiser and away he went. The traffic wasn’t horrible and he as able to travel mostly through residential. He made it to Jeremy’s in pretty good time, and his friend was already waiting on his enclosed porch for him. Mr. Heere gave him a wave as he pulled the one car garage. 

“Thanks!” Jeremy said as he jumped in. “Dad had to head to New York today and won’t be back for a few days, so I was out of luck if it wasn’t for you.”

“Anytime, my friend!” Michael said, turning down _Pinkerton_.

Just like that, they were chatting away. Jeremy was talking about this chicken stuff that his dad had made the night before that he had ate for breakfast. Apparently Jeremy’s dad found a new love for cooking. At least he was wearing pants when he did that.

“Did you hear about Brooke and Chloe?” Jeremy asked.

Michael wasn’t sure what he was leaning to, the break up, the fight in the hallway, the accusations of cheating, blah blah blah. In the end, it was just people talking about other people and it wasn’t really worth his crucial time.

“I think their problem was they didn’t draw a line,” Jeremy said so casually like Michael was supposed to know what the hell he was talking about. 

“A what?” 

“A line,” Jeremy cleared his throat and turned towards Michael even though they both knew Michael was a cautious driver and wasn’t going to look at him. “This is how I see it, at least. When you meet someone, you determine right away what you want them to be to you, ya know? You brain just makes that decision. And when you know, you draw a line of what you want their role to be.”

“Um…”

“Example: so when we met, I knew right away I wanted you to be my best friend. You were super into video games like me, you weren't making fun of me, and you were nice. So I drew my line, you were going to be my friend and not fall into another category.”

Michael snorted. “You knew that the first time we met?”

“Of course I did,” Jeremy’s voice rose, meaning he was embarrassed. 

They turned into the parking lot of the school. “Then what are the categories?”

“Oh, right. You have the stranger category, for those you don’t want to know. The acquaintance category, for those you may need to talk to for something later on. Of course the friend category, where we placed each other. And lastly lovers.”

Michael tried not to bite his lip at Jeremy’s explanation. “So can people move around?”

“Sure, if you want them too,” Jeremy shrugged. “For example, I knew I wanted to date Christine, but really wasn’t sure if she would ever date me, so I was content with her just noticing I existed, so I didn’t draw a line. I was happy where ever she landed.I think with Brooke and Chloe, they would have been good girlfriends, or good friends, but either way they got the expectations all messed up because they keeping switching their roles. Now they don’t know how to treat each other. Am I making sense?”

Michael nodded although he didn’t agree with a single thing he was saying. They both jumped out of the car and into the pouring rain. He heard Jeremy calling for him before he saw his friend run out from the other side of the car with an umbrella. He motioned for Michael to get under it.

Jeremy smells like shampoo today, Michael thought as he stood shoulder to shoulder to him.

“You are pretty stern on your philosophy, aren’t you?” He asked as they raced to the school, their shoes hitting the wet pavement at the same time with a loud ‘splash.’ 

Jeremy replied, nearly out of breath, “It got me a best friend of 12 years and a girlfriend, didn’t it?”

Jeremy explained to Michael where Christine was as they walked to their lockers. Although Michael was very concerned with Christine’s health, he was feeling selfish that he would have so much more quality best bud time, emphasis on the quality. No Christine to start questioning video game morality or why Michael wouldn't try online dating. 

They parted ways and wouldn’t see each other again until lunch. This semester they weren’t so lucky and had no classes together. It sucked, but it sucked a lot less now that he was comfortable talking to more people in the school. He had Rich in most of his classes, Jake in some, and Brooke in the rest. He was never left without a partner during group projects and he always had someone to joke around with. 

Pretty good considering last year he would often skip class if he knew that he would have to work in a group.

The morning went by pretty quickly. Rich was in all his morning classes and made it a point to mentioned something to do with the band in every conversation. Michael didn’t have a whole lot to offer in return as his mind was focused on the discussion with Jeremy today. Did that mean that Michael would never have the chance to move? Jeremy had a few far out ideas, but he seemed pretty passionate about this one.

The last morning bell rang, and a stampede of teenagers raced out of the Chemistry II classroom, leaving Rich and Michael behind. 

“Did you hear about Dustin’s party tomorrow?” Rich asked him as he threw his books in his bag.

Michael shook his head. “No, his folks out?”

“Yeah, all weekend. Dustin’s been storing ton of weed and booze and stuff. You know I won’t drink, but I’m still all for having a good time. You know, if you wanted too…”

A loud _Breaking the law/breaking the law/breaking the law_ exploded from Rich’s back pocket. Rich checked it and grinned.

“Looks like Jake has a surprise for us,” Rich said in a singsong voice. “He’s outside of auditorium. Let's go see!”

Rich has a little hop in his step, which was so different to how he used to be. Michael had once been so afraid of Rich, but now saw him for what he was, a lovable, confident dude. It seemed like Rich just had to reach rock bottom to find who he was. He wore his scars, which were a dull pink and tattooed his arms, and his past with pride and decided who he was for himself. Which Michael thought was pretty awesome. 

Jake and Jenna were waiting for them just outside the auditorium doors. Jenna was bouncing up and down, her pony tail dancing with each jump. Jake was leaning against the wall with his legs crossed. He always had to made everything he did look cool.

“What is the surprise?” Michael asked before anyone else spoke.

Jake grinned his charismatic grin that broke the hearts of all the older ladies at nursing home that he volunteered at. “Read this.”

Michael took the phone but Rich was quick to snatch it away and read the text aloud.

“Jake, I heard your aunt say that you started a band? If so, I need some young talent to open for a band at the shop. Can you do Friday form 5:00-5:20ish??? $100 bucks.” 

Stunned, Michael looked up at Jake. “We have a gig?”

“We have a gig!” Jenna let out a half scream/half laugh. 

“We have a gig?!?” Rich shouted even louder, matching Jenna’ bounces.

“We have a gig,” Jake took his phone back. “Under a half hour. We would need to learn about 4 songs. Nothing too bad. We already got ‘Hey Jealousy’ down.”

They can’t be serious, Michael thought. They had literally practiced once and it was already Thursday. There was no way they could come up with a 5 song set. It was impossible. 

“No,” Michael said softly but was met with glares. “I know this is exciting, but we are nowhere ready. Its too soon.”

“We can do it,” Jenna said, laying a hand on his shoulder. “I know you are nervous, but if we just practice tonight, and maybe skip school tomorrow...”

“Dude, my uncle owns a shitty pizza joint,” Jake tried to reassure him. “They get, like, 5 people for dinner. People show up later for the half off mix drinks. This is a perfect opportunity just to see what it's like on stage. Plus, $25 bucks for each of us. That’s pretty sweet.”

His breath hitched as the atmosphere seemed to grow heavy around him. Jenna and Rich were so excited and Jake was so reassuring but Michael felt like throwing up. What if he forgot the lyrics? What if his voice cracked? What if he sucked and everyone was just being nice?

No, he couldn’t do this. They couldn’t do this. They didn’t see the risk they were facing. 

“Are you ok?” Rich asked and it was then Michael realized his legs were shaking.

“We really can’t do this,” Michael tried to say but his mouth was dry and the words felt like mush. 

Jenna and Jake gave him concerning looks. Why? Right, because he was a freak that couldn’t keep his cool. His lungs were failing to keep a rhythm and his breath was coming out uneven.

“Just take a deep breath, Michael,” Jenna tried to mimic one but it just made him angry.

He wasn’t stupid, he just knew better. They were just a group of teens that picked up some instruments once. They would just fuck it up, like he fucked up everything else. He got himself into something way too deep. He should have just shut his mouth when Jake mentioned he could play the guitar. 

He was tearing up and hyperventilating and they all thought he was a spaz. Why wouldn’t they?

“I need a moment,” He mumbled and raced past them into the auditorium. 

He knew that he could make it to the back of the school through there, and figuring everyone was out to lunch or in the cafeteria, it should be a safe area to calm down. He made himself look like a fool, which he wasn’t sure was a blessing or not. 

The choir room was abandoned and dark, which Michael found to be a suitable place to come down. He pushed past the chairs lined up in rows and found that piano bench was free (as was the rest of the classroom.) Taking a seat, he began his recite his familiar list.

“Pac-Man, Ms. Pac-Man, Pac-Man Plus, Super Pac-Man, Baby Pac-Man…”

It only took twice through the entire list of Pac-Man arcade games for his body to start to feel regulated. He was not a stranger to anxiety attacks, and knew his own way to handle them. Of course, he typically didn't have other people around durning them. Except Jeremy.

But Jeremy had always been around for everything. Like the time he got so afraid before his big solo in 5th grade that he threw up all over his dress-shirt, and Jeremy convinced his dad to go back home and get a new one so Michael wasn’t embarrassed. Or the one time they were having a sleepover and he admitted that maybe he didn’t like girls the same way that Jeremy did and Jeremy had said: “That’s cool, dude, what kind of guys do you like?”

Michael turned around on the piano bench to face the keys. The design was simple, alternating black and white keys. Each held a note if the piano was well taken care of, and when played together could produce a song.

“And I wonder…”Michael whispered, moving his fingers along the notes on each syllable, letting it fade away into the classroom.

“You know, Michael, Jeremy is always going to be there,” He whispered to himself as he moved both his hands into position. “Respect the line.”

He picked the notes back up and let his fingers dance along the keys. How long had it been since he last played? It came back to him like a sweet story from his childhood. The tempo was slow but his voice steady as he sang along to ‘Everlong.’

_And I wonder/When I sing along with you/If everything could ever feel this real forever/If anything could ever be this good again/The only thing I'll ever ask of you/You gotta promise not to stop when I say when…_

It just sucked, you know? It sucked becoming second place. It sucked not being lead or not feeling up to par. Maybe it was his fault all along for not drawing those lines with a thick, black, permanent marker, being aware from the fumes that Jeremy was off limits. Instead he just drew a line in the sand and expected the waves to leave it alone.

Really, it was only his fault. Jeremy owed him nothing.

_Breathe out/So I can breathe you in/Hold you in/And now/ I know you’ve always been/And out of your head/ Out of my head I sang..._

But, god, did it suck.

_And I wonder/when I sing along with you..._

His voice got louder and he stopped being mindful of any thin walls. His pace got faster, and he found himself raising from the piano bench and hunching over the keys. He couldn’t sit any longer. It was like liquid gold was being poured down his skin and he was afraid if he was still he would remain a beautiful but useless thing forever.

_If everything could ever feel this real forever/If anything could ever be this good again/ The only thing I’ll ever ask of you/ You gotta promise not to stop when I say when..._

“Michael?”

Jeremy?

“Shit!” He exclaimed at his own name, his hands failing and the notes becoming sour.

It wasn't Jeremy but Rich who stood at the doorway, his flaming red hair standing out against his black sweater. There was something piercing about the way he looked at him, and Michael couldn’t tell if he should welcome it or not. Just like that his demeanor went from overly excited puppy to stunned friend. 

Rich’s face broke into a laugh. “That was A-Maze-Zing!”

Rich tore through the rows of seat to jump at Michael. Even though Rich was much smaller in height, the bulk that he had gave him the force of a linebacker. Michael struggled to maintain his stance through what he realized was a hug.

“Where was that at practice yesterday?” Rich said, finally letting him go. “When the band sees this tonight...”

Michael adjusted his glasses. “I was going to hang out with Jeremy tonight.”

“Tallass can come too,” Rich shrugged. “He can be a roadie or something. You can’t back out on us, Michael. We need you. If you show them what I just saw, there is no way we won’t be ready for tomorrow night. Jake and Jenna are going to fucking flip!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Songs mentioned/featured in this chapter are not owned by me in any way. I'm just using them for my own personal happiness**
> 
> Say It Ain’t So: Weezer  
> Breaking the Law: Judas Priest  
> Everlong: Foo Fighters
> 
> Ok, friends, why didn't anyone tell me I had a freaking typo in my summary? So embarrassing.
> 
> Also, Jake volunteers in a nursing home and no one can tell me otherwise.
> 
> Thank you all for your lovely comments and kudos! If you haven't seen the Two River Theater's insta or facebook, go check out what they are doing. The pictures released today are amazing and the gofundme is worth it!


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